Have you ever wondered what your purpose is? You may have wondered at one time or still wonder what your purpose is. I know for many years, I asked the question, “What is my purpose?” Recently, I went through a divorce, a rebound relationship, the death of my daddy, a breakup, and an empty nest. I asked God, “what is my purpose now?” That statement doesn’t even reflect the despair I felt or the pain I was in. I had some serious stinking thinking during that time. Can you relate?
Rick Warren says paraphrased in The Purpose Driven Life that we were created for God’s pleasure. I thought I understood what that meant, but often I found myself confused by that definition. “How do we do that exactly?” I asked myself. I believe we confuse purpose with gifts and talents . Our gifts, talents and passions are given to us for His purpose, as well. However, I believe what we do, whether we are a doctor, secretary, or stay at home mom, is a vehicle in which we deliver our purpose.
Let me explain. Our jobs are determined by our gifts and talents, all which are important for our survival, personal fulfillment, but most of all it is one of the ways we express our love for the Father. However, our purpose is to be fully loved by God, love Him back and pass that love vertically. I believe God’s desire for us is to look to Him to have our love tank filled and then to return that love back to Him. However, God loves us whether we love Him back or not. Let me repeat that: God loves us/you and me whether we love Him back or not.
How do we love God back and then love vertically unconditionally when most of us are walking around broken, empty, wounded, and focused on our pain? Short answer, we really cannot. At least, not in the fullest expression of love.
The purpose of Christ’s death on the cross was to provide forgiveness so we could fully enjoy fellowship with the Father and so we could spend eternity in His presence. However, it was also to bring us back to our original state of wholeness. In the spirit world we are whole and perfect because of what He did on the cross. But, unfortunately, we live in the flesh. So, how do we get there? I believe, because of free will, God wants to partner with us in the healing process. The Father’s heart is that we would experience Heaven on earth. God heals you and me when we invite Him to do so. He does the changing, but we must first invite Him.
So, what does inviting Him look like? It can be summed up in one word, Surrender! Acknowledge where we are and ask for His help to reveal what is in need of healing and changing. In order to heal, we must take an honest look at those areas he brings to our consciousness. Then we must embrace our pain, loss, and grief and in the process He leads the way to restoration.
Most of us are unaware where our pain originated from. Most of us are unable to love fully and unconditionally because we are going through life operating from our perspective, limiting beliefs, and wounds. The fallen world we live in is not whole, so each of us experience life through other imperfect and wounded people. And, if that wasn’t enough, we are told lies by the enemy and sometimes he uses those we should trust like our parents, siblings, friends, teachers, pastors, doctors, husbands, etc. Are you getting the picture?
Have you ever found yourself in a personal crisis? Maybe you lost a child, experienced divorce, or are having to deal with an unexpected illness. Whatever suffering you have experienced or are experiencing, did you “feel” an internal tug of war? I mean that battle inside you that is asking God “why?” That battle that says, “I hate what I am going through and I don’t want to be here.” The battle that takes you prisoner! You can’t think about anything else and can’t stop asking why. Loved ones, if you want to be free of that internal tug of war, “SURRENDER.”
Let me share a personal surrender to help paint a picture for you. Sometime after my divorce, I experienced another relationship that didn’t end well. I found myself frustrated and frankly depressed. That experience brought up unresolved pain and wounding from my marriage and divorce. Which to be honest, I had not dealt with on any significant level. Most of us would rather medicate our pain instead of facing it head on. During this time of intense grief, I experienced an internal tug of war. I did not want to be in this place at this point in my life. I did not want to be divorced. I did not want to start over. I did not want to be alone. I could go on with my “not wants to,” but suffice to say I was pissed. Have you every felt that way?
Well, let me tell you the stress I was bringing on myself was quite paralyzing. I didn’t know how to move forward. I did a lot of soul searching and started the hard work of healing. I knew I had to face my demons, fears, wounds, and insecurities. For many months, the God of the universe and I would have lots of time together. I began slowly to move forward. When I thought, “finally, I have turned a corner,” I would have a day or two set back. A very normal part of the grieving process. In one of my so-so days, I was having a conversation with my Father when He spoke to my spirit and told me to surrender. He said, “Surrendering leads to contentment.” He told me to embrace where I was and be content. A light bulb went off in my head, and at that moment, I realized all the stress I was feeling was a battle of will. I quickly embraced this revelation and experienced a peace I had not had in a long time. I am telling you that I turned a corner that day. A friend once told me that the front window of a car was bigger than the rear view window for a reason. My Father taught be to stop trying to control and be in the moment. Stop looking back and stop fretting about the future. Enjoy today! Enjoy the moment. So, I began my journey of being present!
Do you ruminate? Do you have an internal power struggle? Are you having trouble moving forward?
Next month, I will expound on these concepts and share some steps you can take to heal so you can live the abundant life He promises, be all that He created you to be, and love the way He loves.
Walk in love!